元記事での 2017/3/8, 12:59 までの内容に更新・転載しました。
また、2017/06/09現在の時点で以下の未翻訳部分がありましたので「要翻訳」タグを追加しました。
Dr. Allok engaged in testing to determine if allowing SCP-261 time to “cool down” would help keep more dangerous or unpleasant foodstuffs from appearing. Testing followed a fifteen minute cycle, each test utilizing five-hundred yen. This cycle was repeated until anomalous items were produced, then testing was suspended for two hours before resuming. During testing suspension, SCP-261 remained unused by any other parties.
Dr. Allok's notes: It seems to overheat, let's be honest. Push it hard and long enough, and it's going to drop something dangerous. Plus, dumping too much money in it seems to confuse it, for lack of a better term. So we take it slow and steady.
NOTE-MUNDANE ITEMS OMITTED, FULL RECORD AVAILABLE ON CALL#0098-89-DDA
Money Entered: 500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: “Dark Surprise Gum” - Small cellophane packet, Japanese kanji text, but with a significant amount of Japanese internet slang terms, produced by “Hello Okashi” Package depicts a bleeding, long-haired ghostly woman reaching out from a school locker. Opening the package revealed three smaller individually wrapped wafers, the approximate dimensions of a standard playing card. Unwrapping one of the packages revealed a thin wafer of black chewing gum, while the inside of the wrapper was covered with kanji, and a depiction of a feral dog with a distorted, human-like face. The text related a truncated and gruesome version of the “Jinmenken” or human-faced dog legend. The gum itself had a mild anise flavor, and was described as rather gritty and unpleasant by Dr. Allok, the consumer.Approximately one hour after consuming the gum, Dr. Allok began to behave erratically. Over a space of ten minutes, he became increasingly agitated, stating that he saw movement from the corner of his eye, heard odd and unsettling sounds, and felt intensely observed. At the end of the ten minutes, Dr. Allok abruptly screamed, recoiled from an unseen force, and fell to the ground. After recovery, and a in-depth sweep by security, Dr. Allok stated that a warped, decayed human-faced dog had suddenly pushed open the test chamber door, howled or screamed, and then charged at him. No other members of staff or security observed this, and no sensors or security alarms had been tripped. After recovery, there was no additional effect.
It has been determined that the gum causes a timed hallucination related to the story on the wrapper. Approximately half of the gum wafer is required to trigger the effect, and judging by perforations along the center of the wafer, the gum is intended to be shared. How such a directed and structured hallucination is caused is still being reviewed, however it is not purely a chemical process, and there appear to be no lingering effects beyond mild paranoia, which varies by individual. Additional wafers relate stories of a unknown, obsessive stalker who committed suicide to better follow the reader, and a spirit of a horribly deformed baby seeking the reader to kill and eat. Both produce associated hallucinations.
Notes – I am not too proud to admit, I shat myself just a little. I tell you, I could smell that damned thing. Putting aside the direct applications, if we can figure out how it works, we could advance the whole body of amnisatic research by twenty years.
Money Entered: 500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: “CoCo Calavera”- A brightly colored cellophane pouch, with patterns associated with the “Día de Muerto” Day of the Dead celebration in Latin America, text in modern Spanish, no manufacturer information. The label provides a short description of the holiday, and the tradition of candy skulls made and consumed on that day. The package is secured by a simple twist-tie. Inside is a small, three-dimensional candy skull, decorated with red royal icing in traditional patterns. It differs from traditional candy skulls on several points. Only one single color, red, is used for decoration. The skull itself is a very dark brown, and appears to have horns sweeping back along the skull, along with sharpened teeth.The primary difference is, while traditional skulls are made primarily of sugar, this one appears to be made of pure crystallized coco. The structure is identical to that of granulated sugar, but there is no actual sugar present in the skull. The coco itself is not related to any recorded breeds of coco plants, and this may be the reason behind the hereto unobserved crystallization process. The skull itself is described as very bitter, with a sharp taste of chili peppers.
Notes – There's something bothering me about this one. Can't put my finger fully on it, just something off about a black and red horned skull, maybe. How it manages to look exactly like sugar is another question.
Money Entered: 500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: “Russian Roulette Drops” - A 12cm long tube, dense plastic, text in Cyrillic, but with English spelling, produced by “Red Star”. Tube has two small pressure pads positioned to either side of one end, with a small, sealed hole on the same end, outer wrapping depicts a realistic gun barrel under the text. Description on the package indicates item is candy, and intended to be shared among “one's most brave or foolish friends”. Instructions are to bite down on the pressure pads, which will cause a candy to be dispensed into the mouth.Assembled researchers, by mutual consent, began testing. Biting on the plates causes a small, white pellet to be dispensed into the mouth, tasting “like a sugar cube”. The outer shell dissolves within five seconds, releasing the inner filling. It appears eight pellets are contained in the tube, and it is constructed in such a way as to discourage casual tampering. Noted flavors include chocolate frosting, blueberry, and orange cola.
It appears that, with each tube, one pellet is designated the “kill shot”, as described on the package. This pellet dissolves to release a liquid filling that is 85% pure capsaicin, the remainder being a dense form of syrup which causes great difficulty in immediately neutralizing the substance. Dr. Henjik received the “kill shot”, and was remanded to medical for breathing issues and possible allergic reaction. Full recovery was declared after four hours, no additional anomalous properties noted.
Notes – Dr. Henjik is a great big baby.
Money Entered: 500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: “Cute Girl's Tears” - Glass soda bottle, blue tint to the glass, a beveled texture along the main body, text in english and japanese, no identifiable manufacturer. Item's label depicts a young girl, drawn in the anime style, with blue hair and blue eyes. She appears to be in distress or discomfort, and is crying vigorously. Character matches no current or discontinued entertainment form, nor has the art style matched with any known artist. Item appears to be part of a set, with the label encouraging to try “Cute Boy's Tears” and “Sister's Tears”, however no items matching this description have been noted.Bottle has a standard twist-off metal cap, and appears to have been made in Japan for the US market. Liquid is mostly clear with a slightly blue tint. Liquid is uncarbonated and very sweet, also including a vague berry flavor (which could not be determined) and a slight taste of salt. Researchers described it as somewhat similar to a sports drink, and testing indicated a similar composition to several commercially available sports drinks, with a marked higher content of sugar and sodium. Texture is slightly syrupy, and will leave a sticky residue on surfaces.
No additional anomalous properties noted, however it has been observed that those who reported the highest enjoyment of the item also scored the highest on the TSR-88 Cruelty Index during annual testing. Investigation in to possible relationship is ongoing.
Notes – I don't give a damn what they say I scored, that stuff was delicious and worth it for the bottle alone. Isn't there some kind of personalized soda service somewhere? I'm ordering this.
Addendum – request was denied.
Money Entered: 100 ████, (currency retrieved from ██████)
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: A gaseous cloud that, when interacted with, attaches itself to the subject's hands as if being held. Upon inhaling, subject complained of chest pains and severe dyspnea, eventually resulting in death. Autopsy of subject was revealed to have several sheets of platinum arranged in an acute mathmatical pattern, fatally intersecting with the subject's heart and lungs. A manufacturer's mark near the centre of the "heart" indicates that it was produced by ████████, with a laser-cut date of ██/██/████.
Money Entered: 600 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: "Cow Beans" Jelly beans in the bag where similar texture and color to SCP-843. Class D that consumed the jelly beans clutched his stomach in pain and passed out due to the pain. After subject awoken, everything seemed normal, however autopsy shown that the subject had grown three more stomachs.Money Entered: 1500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: "Ice Cream Flashlight" Object was a flashlight in the shape of an ice cream cone. Testing shown that anything shined with the light would slowly convert to ice cream, flavors depended on the material used.Notes – I think the ice cream flashlight could be pretty useful. I mean, I know it's just sugar, but can't you live off ice cream in an emergency?
Money entered: 4500 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: <Unknown> - a small box-shaped package, with no noticeable outer markings save for the words “Prototype 3” written in black pen on the side. When opened, it contained a small black box, of similar dimensions to a portable television. With the box also came a container, which held a hundred different disk storage system cards resembling Zip Drives. Ninety of those disks came with a picture depicting either a random fruit or vegetable, while the remaining ten disks were white in color, and showed different graphics of chopping up food. Packaging also contained an charger designed to power up the box, although it was found to have been pre-charged prior to packaging. The box only contained two separate slots and two buttons - white and red in color - as well as what appeared to be a lens used in holographic technology.When the D-Class assigned to testing pressed the red button, the lens flashed on and showed a blank display. When he inserted a card depicting an apple into the top slot, the image of an apple suddenly appeared on the display, although completely permeable by solid material. Although inserting other cards with fruits and vegetables into the top slot had no effect on the image coming from the lens, when the D-Class inserted a white card depicting a person using a knife in a slicing motion, the image changed to that of a bunch of apple slices in a bowl, with the display image having increased somewhat. However, the image was still untouchable.
When the D-Class pressed the white button, a side compartment opened and a tool resembling a spork popped out. Said tool consisted of an (as of yet) unknown vaporous gas structure, but was solid to the touch, albeit a bit cool. When the utensil met the displayed image, a separate holographic image of a sliced apple appeared on the end of it out of the main display, which Petard was able to bring to his mouth and eat. Though the utensil appeared to have taken a piece out of the holographic image from the box, upon him eating the “apple slice” the image reformed.
The D-Class said shortly afterwards that although he was unable to properly eat the “slice”, he was able to feel its texture and flavor in his mouth, and was also able to swallow it. After about ten minutes of repeatedly eating “apple slices”, the D-Class put down the utensil, stating that he was full. Testing will resume the following day.
Money entered: 1200 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Three-pack of "Portable Communion", packaging in Latin, place of manufacture listed as London, England. Dispensed item resembled a pre-packaged Communion wine with wafer sold by [REDACTED]. Package was unable to be opened, even with extreme amounts of force, outside of a place of worship (in this case, the Site's non-denominational chapel). The wafer was found to be made of plain cracker, and the 'wine' present was similar to grape Kool-Aid.Money entered: 500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: "Astro-Dinner!", packaging in American English, Branded by NASA and allegedly manufactured at Cape Canaveral, Florida and NASA Glenn Research Center, Ohio. Contents resembled a TV Dinner tray with several dehydrated foods, including steak, peaches, chocolate pudding, and a packet of juice, along with a hot water gun to re-hydrate the foods. Edible, if not particularly appetizing; testing shows that the food is identical to food prepared for the Apollo missions.Money Entered: 250 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: A packet of baseball trading cards with gum; trading cards depict individuals playing on teams known from SCP-2206, as well as a Japanese team, the "Yokohama DeNa Joestars". Notably, mention is made on the card of player Francisco Lindor, a pitcher for the Cleveland Exiles, as being key in defeating the Chicago Orphans for the 2016 World Series title. Gum was cherry-flavored.
In what perverse universe does a team from Cleveland beat a Chicago team, let alone win a World Series?! — Dr. Mattings.
Money entered: 60 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Unknown - Aluminium bag with writing similar to japanese, but it's not. The bag was full of tabloids that, when consumed, makes you fluent in "Changsoosen [sic]". The taste was of blueberry and chocolate.Money entered: 420 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: SCP-420-J, exact copy, no changes.
Oh maan… I'm trippin' out, dude. Wohoaaa… - Researcher MikkMoney entered: 4000 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item description: "Kellogg's Krunchy Krab" - Cardboard box with a picture of a crab on it. The crab is eating what seems to be smaller crabs. The package contained cereal. Researcher Mikk volunteered to taste it. His response was, quote "Tastes like crab and bacon." No anomalous effects reported. Kellogg's doesn't make this brand of cereal.Money entered: 9001 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: unpowered
Item Descripton: Kaka Karrot Kakes - Cardboard box with a picture of a yellow carrot cake and a radioactive sign on it. It was tested for radiation, nothing found. D-6217 opened it and a sound was produced. It sounded close to the cartoon show "█████████████", but wasn't. It said, quote, "IT'S OVER 9000!!!", but really loud and screeching. After that, everybody felt energized and full, so the carrot cakes were disposed of.
That's my favourite anime! - Researcher ██████
Eh, mine's █████████████. - Researcher Mikk
Money entered: 400 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Milka-brand chocolate bar, 'Bean Paste' flavor - Outer coating is typical of Milka-brand milk chocolate. Filling consists primarily of red bean paste, mixed with food additives E121, E227, E422 and E425. Packaging is in German. The Mondelēz company does not produce this flavor, nor does any other major chocolate bar manufacturer produce a similar product.Notes: This stuff's actually quite good. Maybe we can we sell the recipe? - Jr. Asst. IJff
Money entered: 400 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: Fruit Luips - A box of cereal. Packaging similar to the popular 'froot loops' brand. Aside from the different name and the differences in the cereal itself, the box is watertight, and comes with a plastic spoon and a bottle of artificially-sweetened milk attached to its side. In a notable divergence from 'froot loops', 'fruit luips' cereal contains small bits of actual fruit. However, none of the 'rings' of which the cereal consists form complete loops.Money entered: 400 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: Unknown - A small cloth bag containing twenty tangerine-like fruits. Bag had writing in an unknown alphabet, along with cartoon depictions of a monkey. Each of the fruits was much smaller than a typical store-carried tangerine, with none exceeding a diameter of three centimeters. Four fruits were consumed, revealing a much sweeter flavor than expected. In addition, the fruit's skin also proved to be edible, possessing a similar taste.
Addendum: Lab tests on the remaining three fruits show a genetic divergence from any citrus fruit in the database. In addition, a series of small puncture marks were found in the skin of each fruit. Consistent depth and placement of these marks suggests that these punctures were made mechanically.Money entered: 400 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: Party stick: Red Flavor - Packaging consists of an asbestos box decorated with festive colours and pictures of balloons. Blurb underneath the logo reads 'Foodz of the Future'. Opening the box revealed a single stick of what appears to be dynamite.
Addendum: Chemical analysis has confirmed that the stick is, in fact, regular dynamite. The stick was successfully transported to a blast chamber, where it was lit. No anomalous effects occurred upon detonation, nor were any additional effects noted upon inspection of the chamber hereafter.Notes: Maybe we're missing the proper senses? - Jr. Asst. IJff
Money entered: 400 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: Unknown - Object dispensed by SCP-261 was identical in appearance to the head of SCP-106. Security guard ███ reflexively fired three (3) shots at the object, destroying it. Researcher ██████ suffered cardiogenic shock upon the appearance of the object, but is expected to make an eventual full recovery.
Addendum: Later chemical analysis demonstrates the presence of human skin, straw and cherry syrup in the remains of the object.
